Friday 13th Jan 2023 (Due date 15/01/2023)
Around 4am I was woken up by the sensation of a surge, having experienced very strong Braxton Hicks frequently at night time from around 37 weeks onwards this was not uncommon. I got up, walked round the house and bounced on my birth ball as this usually eased the Braxton Hicks. After an hour and a half of moving around, it had not relieved anything and the surges were coming every 10-15 minutes. The surges did feel different to what I had experienced before but I couldn't be sure at such an early stage if this was the real thing, so I decided to go back to bed and try to sleep as I knew I would need rest if this was it. When I went back to bed around 5:30am my husband Luke woke up and asked if everything was ok, I told him I thought I may be in the early stages of labour but wanted to go back to sleep while I could. We had a cuddle and went back to sleep. The surges did continue but were not so strong that I wasn't able to sleep between them.
9am the sensation of the surges was stronger and I could no longer sleep through them. I got up and went to the toilet, where I had my first show as the mucus plug started to break up. Feeling more convinced that this was the beginning of my birth, I went downstairs and had some breakfast and cuddled on the sofa with the dogs feeling excited but doing my best to also stay calm and not get my hopes up too much too soon. The surges were very irregular, with no discernible patterns forming, sometimes 20 minutes apart but sometimes only 5 minutes apart.
Late morning I found myself feeling energised and felt like going out for a walk with the dogs. We wrapped up warm as it was very cold out and walked round the block a few times, careful not to go too far from home. My husband was due to go to work in the afternoon but on the dog walk one of our dogs was sick, so we decided it was best for him to stay home with me as I didn't want to have to look after a sick dog while also in early labour. Luke took the dogs home and I stayed out walking round the green outside our house for a little longer, as I still felt like I wanted to walk. When I got back Luke had moved all the positive birth affirmations into the living room, put on the essential oil diffuser and lit some candles creating a beautiful calm and cosy space for me to relax. We had the hospital bag packed with healthy snacks for weeks in advance, but I wanted some fresh fruit so after the dog walk we went to the supermarket together to buy some fruit and supplies for the cupboards and something nice for lunch.
As the day went on the surges continued to be irregular, progress was very slow, and I kept doubting that this was the real thing. To keep my mind occupied and spirits up the four of us (husband and dogs) snuggled on the sofa all afternoon and watched my favourite sitcom and shared lots of laughs. When the surges came further apart I managed to get some short power naps on the sofa. By the time early evening came I was feeling deflated with the lack of progress and uncertainty of whether or not what I was experiencing was the real thing. I knew how important it was in order for things to progress, to keep myself calm and happy to allow the oxytocin to get flowing, so I started listening to some hypnobirthing tracks to help relax and focus my mind on positive thoughts. The deep relaxation allowed me to get some sleep for an hour, when I woke around 8pm Luke had cooked us a lovely meal, while we were eating I noticed the surges had become much stronger and were coming closer together. I went to the toilet and I had another show. This was the first time I felt confident that my baby was truly on the way. As things were starting to show progress we decided it was best that my dogs went to stay with my dad, in case baby decided to come during the night.
We spent the rest of the evening snuggled on the sofa and I alternated between watching the sitcom and listening to hypnobirthing tracks to keep my spirits high and maintain my happy bubble of calm. The surges got closer together and stronger but still had no consistent pattern. My husband was tracking them using an app. At around midnight I decided it was a good idea to go to bed and do my best to get some rest. We put one of my favourite Disney films on in bed and I softly sang along to the songs. Around 1:30am (Saturday 14th Jan) when the film ended I managed to drift off to sleep and get some much needed rest.
By 4am the surges were getting much stronger, I could no longer sleep through them and was no longer comfortable in bed. I woke my husband up and told him I couldn't stay in bed any longer, so he helped me get up and move things downstairs, taking lots of blankets and pillows to make myself warm and comfortable. It was also this point I felt like I needed to make use of the TENs machine which Luke helped me put on. I kept this on for the duration on the 'up' stage of labour, using the boost function through surges. I kept it on a low setting throughout, not needing to go above level 5 out of 15, even when my surges were at their most intense.
Once settled downstairs Luke started timing the surges again, they were consistently lasting between 30-45 seconds and were coming every 5 minutes. After this had stayed consistent for an hour and 30 minutes we decided to make our first call to the hospital and ask for advice on what we should do next. They advised us that surges would need to be coming consistently, 3 within 10 minutes and lasting at least 1 minute before they would come out to us and we should keep doing what we were doing by monitoring them and call back when we reached that point, or if we had any concerns. They also mentioned they are currently advising against home births as they could not guarantee an ambluance in the event of emergency due to strike action. I felt happy and reassured by this advice, and felt confident as we were, carrying on with the progress at home. We had already discussed as a couple and with my community midwife the ambulance service being on strike but I was confident I was healthy and I had a healthy pregnancy so it was safe to birth at home. We were prepared for the fact we may have to self transfer.
We spent the morning and early afternoon very much like we had the previous day, calm and cosy on the sofa, alternating between watching my favourite sitcom and listening to hypnobirthing tracks. The relaxation tracks helped me relax enough to be able to take short naps, however this stalled the surges, setting them back to as much as 20 minutes between surges. This made me feel frustrated and feel reluctant to allow myself to relax or rest. I kept reminding myself that 'baby knows best' and 'my body knows what to do' - she will come when she is ready and that I should take advantage of the rest while I was still able to. I asked that we stopped tracking the surges as I felt like it was having a negative impact on my mindset and that we should only start again once we noticed a pattern forming.
By late afternoon I was starting to feel deflated as there seemed to be no notable progress, so I gave into temptation to do things to 'help things along'...while I was very determined not to have any medical interventions, I did try out some of the wives tales/natural remedies. I decided I wanted to go out for a walk, my husband was not convinced but I was adamant I wanted to go. It was a very slow walk staying close to home and I had to pause and hold Luke's arm every time a surge came as the sensations were too strong to walk through. After the walk I expressed some colostrum and had a mug of raspberry leaf tea.
I cannot say if any of the things I did 'worked' but come around 5pm things started to significantly progress. The surges were coming much more consistently and closer together. They were far more intense and it took all of my focus to breath through them. I figured out that I could count 7 up breaths and then I would be over the peak of the surge. Luke laid next to me and counted my breaths with me while using the visualisation of pretty pink blossoms opening. Luke had been timing without me knowing, I still wasn't at 3 surges within 10 minutes but I told him it was time to call the midwives, I just instinctively knew that we were coming close. He called the delivery suite and they advised they would have the Home birth team call us back. I was unaware at the time as I was deep in my zone, but we waited an hour for a call back that did not come, so my husband called again. This time they called back immediately, I was at a point where I was not able to speak on the phone so Luke did all the talking. I was relieved to overhear that they would be on their way straight away however they explained they were coming from Weston super mare, which I knew to be a 30 minute drive away and they explained they needed to stop by the hospital to collect their kit. So I knew this realistically meant they would be about 45 minutes. This was the first time during the experience so far that I felt fear. I had felt a sudden change in my surges and I had an instinct that I needed to be on the toilet. I knew that this often means that the down stage of labour is starting and baby is well and truly on the way. I was scared that I would be ready to push before the midwives arrived and we would have to deliver the baby ourselves. I knew that if I needed to push before the midwives arrived that we had to call 999 for an ambulance but as this was during strikes I was aware an ambulance probably wouldn't get to us in time either. I knew that fear was going to make me feel tense and put me into fight or flight mode with all the wrong hormones flowing, so I kept going over positive affirmations in my head, reminding myself women all over the world deliver healthy babies every day without and medical assistance.
I decided I wanted to move out of the toilet, I can admit now, looking back on reflection, that I was in denial about feeling close to needing to push and I was trying to delay it until the midwives arrived. I told my husband it was time to start filling the pool. While he filled the pool I paced around the house, using down breath technique to work through each surge, they were coming so fast and close that there was no need at all at this point to time them. I would remain standing and lean over the dining room table for stability through each surge. While I was pacing around I felt a pop and felt something trickle down my leg inside my leggings. I quickly took them off and tried to catch some of the fluid in a washing up bowl to check the colour. It was only a very small amount and clearly was not my waters breaking. My husband brought me something dry to put on my bottom half and then carried on filling the pool while I carried on pacing the house.
Around 7pm the first midwife arrived, my husband helped her carry in all the kit while I continued to pace and breathe through my surges. I was very withdrawn into myself and didn't really look at or speak to the midwife or catch her name when she gave it to me. I remember hearing some gentle reassurances from her as she was bringing the kit in that I was doing really well and just keep breathing, which I was very grateful for although I couldn't show it. I was back to a state of feeling completely safe now she was there. I'm not exactly sure when the second midwife arrived but it was about 20 mins after the 1st midwife. Once they had all their kit set up in our living room Luke asked if gas and air was available if I wanted it, the midwife suggested she examine me to check our progress before taking any gas an air. I don't remember saying I didn't want an examination but it was not done (it was in my birth plan which I know she had read) and I also didn't take any gas and air but felt a little relief that it was now there if I decided I wanted it. Instead of physically examining me the midwife knelt behind me and watched as I had surges to see if she could see anything happening. I remember hearing her say that there were no signs of anything happening yet. I didn't really know what she meant by that but I didn't ask, I knew my baby was coming soon regardless. Around this point my waters broke with a huge gush all over the floor. I knew that I didn't have long left and decided it wa time to get into the pool.
The moment I got into the pool it felt like everything just melted away, I felt an instant release from all the sensations and I went into a deep state of calm and comfort. I was knelt, resting my arms and head on the edge of the pool. I could feel both Luke and one of the midwives close to me, both whispering gentle reassurances to me, talking me through my breathing and Luke stroking my forehead, shoulders and arms. Between surges all was very quiet and peaceful with only the gentle sound of meditation music playing in the background. (Afterwards the midwives told me they couldn't believe how calm and relaxed I was during this period). Soon after getting into the pool I knew I was ready to start pushing. Because I had declined a physical examination to check how dilated I was, the midwives were not sure what stage I was at, so they got a small handheld mirror to hold under the water and check progress. I listened to my body and started to push. I could feel her head coming down, when I put my hand down and I could feel the crown of her head. I excitedly told everyone 'I can feel her head!!' At this point it felt to me that the midwives finally seemed to believe she was coming. She calmly explained to me that I needed to push when they told me but resist the temptation to force it after the surge had finished, they would talk me through when to stop. As her head was coming out further the midwife told me that she could see a full head of hair (after 9 months of heartburn during pregnancy I was suspecting exactly this!) I excitedly asked what colour hair it was and she told me it was dark. The midwife invited Luke to come to the back of the pool to see as well. A few surges later her head was all the way out, the midwife then told me that with the next surge I would need to sit up and catch the baby as she came out. I asked her 'Is this is?! is this my last push?!' to which she replied, 'yes, this is it'. I was so excited to realise I had only one more push to go and then I was going to meet my baby.
20:31 14/01/2023 after 11 minutes of pushing our beautiful baby girl came into the world, I caught her as she came out and with the help of the midwife brought her up on to my chest for her first cuddle. We wrapped her up and put a hat on her to keep her warm, I held her in my arms until the cord finished pulsing and had gone white. Luke then cut the cord and took her for some skin on skin cuddles. After passing the placenta an hour later I consented to an examination, where they confirm I had no tearing or grazes. I feel so blessed to have had a natural birth in the comfort of my home without complications. I credit this entirely to the knowledge, confidence and skills I gained from completing a hypnobirthing course.
