Last week, I journeyed through sacred tradition. What I had booked as a meaningful ritual to pause and mark what I felt like a necessary transition in my mothering journey, took me far beyond what I had imagined. It was powerful and enlightening, and in all honesty, I think that it will still take a little while before I can say that I've fully processed my experience.
The Closing of the Bones ceremony is a traditional postpartum healing ritual that originated in Ecuador and is now practiced in many parts of the world. The ceremony is typically performed by a doula or other trained practitioner and involves a series of massage techniques, herbal remedies, and symbolic rituals designed to help mothers heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually after childbirth.
I first heard about this ritual when my son was already two years old, and although I felt drawn to the experience straight away, it took me two more years to book it. Closing of the Bones ceremonies are typically performed within the first 40 days after childbirth, but they can be done at any time during the postpartum period. I can now confidently say that it landed at the perfect time for me... The 'things' you may wish to 'release' and 'welcome' through the process will likely change as years pass; but postpartum is for life and our journeys are unique so those life-enhancing opportunities will land at different times, and I invite you to trust that it will be exactly the right time for you too...
After booking my ceremony with Marinella - a wonderful Bristol-based postpartum doula - I received helpful guidance on how to set-up the space in my home, and the things I might want to think about before the ceremony. This included:
setting-up a futon mat or mattress on the floor in a room of my choice;
having a couple of towels and blankets ready for the massage and to keep warm during the 'period of rest';
creating an altar that reconnected me with my birth (optional);
reflecting on my intention for this process (optional).
My Closing of the Bones ceremony started with a short guided-relaxation followed by a conversational debrief about my birth, and my journey as a mother. I also drew some cards through which Marinella encouraged me to share how they may be resonating with my personal experience. It was an interesting process which opened my eyes on various aspects of my journey in unexpected but very helpful ways. Empathetic listening is something I'm particularly sensitive to as a trauma healing practitioner, and her genuine and compassionate approach really touched me as I shared my own doubts and fears.
I was then invited to lie on the mattress I'd set-up in my living room as she performed a series of massage techniques using soothing essential oils. Although those massage strokes are designed to help close and strengthen muscles and tissues that stretch and strain during pregnancy and childbirth; in my experience it helped relieving the tensions I'd been carrying - mother and business owner's occupational hazard - particularly in my abdomen and neck.
Following the massage, Marinella wrapped my body with scarves. Each part of my body held and wrapped represented the things we (mothers) need to reclaim physically and emotionally after pregnancy and birth. Once wrapped, I truly felt like time had stopped, and what initially felt like a comforting hug soon became a powerful journey where my mind took me to unexpected places. Beautiful dream-like visions reminded me that some questions - however burning they seem - don't have to be answered immediately. And although some bridges may never be crossed again, they are here if I decide to explore new territories on my motherhood journey...
Following this emotional 'trip' and after being unwrapped, Marinella gently welcomed me back in the room with some delicious ayurvedic tea and nourishing snacks she'd brought with her. We spoke a little bit about my experience and the emotions that resulted from it before she departed from my home, leaving behind her kind, wise and supportive words that are still echoing as I reflect on the experience.
My Closing of the Bones ceremony was a deeply spiritual and emotional experience. After a few days I can honestly say that I feel even more grounded, centered, and connected as a woman and a mother. I'd highly recommend it for postpartum healing, but also for other stages of life where transitions are happening and there is a need to release the old and welcome the new...
For more information about Marinella's offerings, please visit her website: www.earthmoonmala.com.