This is my purpose, the reason why I do what I do, and although sometimes it feels like a drop in the ocean, that drop, those positive births and those happy mamas, are f@*&ing worth it! Excuse my French...
Thanks to the progress in modern medicine and to a better understanding of the physiology of birth, we now live in a society where pregnancy and birth are generally safe, and the vast majority of babies are born healthy. However, too little is being done to ensure that beyond the physical aspects of pregnancy and birth, women and birthing people feel mentally and emotionally supported.
the most important thing that you can do to give yourself the best chance for a positive and empowering birth is to find an antenatal course that will provide crucial knowledge about your rights, your options, as well as tools to feel in control and to advocate for your preferences through all stages of your journey.
According to the Birth Trauma Association (UK based), an estimated 30% of women experience some symptoms of PTSD and about 4% of women go on to develop postnatal PTSD or birth trauma. This is about 30,000 new cases every year in the UK! And numbers are sadly rising...
Most of these women did give birth to healthy babies but their experience of birth will have a long-term effect on their general health, and in most cases, it could have been avoided. Some would say that a healthy baby is all that matters, and I say ENOUGH!
I am not going to point fingers at anyone as in my opinion we all have a part to play. It starts from the youngest age with how we talk about birth to children and teenagers, it’s through the images that are being used in the media and the movie industry - depicting birth as terrifying and gruesome. It's also in the way care providers are being trained; and all this within the unbearable misogynistic culture we are still trying to navigate as women.
Just the other day, as I found myself in a hospital ward due to a terrifying migraine, the consultant (a middle-aged man) asked me about the pain level I was in. He provided a scale from 0 to 10, and “10 being like giving birth” is what he said. What sort of seeds this would plant in anyone’s head if you have never given birth or if you don’t know that there are ways to prepare for a more comfortable experience of childbirth? Without realising it (I won’t even mention those who do) some medical professionals are sabotaging the birth of thousands of women every day with what they consider being outstanding ‘healthcare’. The things that some of us are being told during our pregnancies and births are truly scare-mongering and damaging. Traumatic experiences often start long before the birth itself, and it must stop! We are conditioned to fear what should be one of the more empowering event of our lives, we are told that our bodies can’t be trusted and that we are too weak. But we are not, we are just unprepared, misinformed and inadequately cared for.
There are some hopeful signs of change but unfortunately, we are still a long long way from the essential women-centred holistic approach of maternity care. And so, for now, the most important thing that you can do to give yourself the best chance for a positive and empowering birth is to find an antenatal course that will provide important knowledge about your rights, your options, as well as tools to feel in control and to advocate for your preferences through all stages of your journey.
Above all, build your support network. It starts with your birth partner, and then extends to family, friends, an antenatal educator or a doula, and the new mama friends you can meet at local pregnancy group. Surround yourself with people who will support you unconditionally in your choices during pregnancy, advocate for you during birth, and nurture you in the first weeks postpartum. You should never have to do this on your own.
Feel free to contact me if you need any support or signposting to professional help.
Useful links
Pregnancy advice and support:
Postpartum support:
Birth Trauma Resolution:
Photo: Sarah Chai